we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
