I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
