We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
