If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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