My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize