bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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