I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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