I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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