Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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