I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
