I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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