I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His hands were made for my vagina.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
