winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
