I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
