So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
