Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im six kinds of drunk right now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
