My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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