I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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