I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
