Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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