: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
