I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
