The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
