I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So squirting runs in the family.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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