I'm jealous of your bromance
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
