creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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