his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
