Banned from zoo.
Again?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You're like the curious george of whores
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
