This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
