it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
