Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She made me pour olive oil on her.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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