yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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