I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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