No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
