What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
