you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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