Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
