I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
