So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
