I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
