I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
