How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
