why didn't you poke me back
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
