What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
