My brain says no but my pants say off.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just pee around me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
