Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
