Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
