Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize