Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
