the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
