So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize