hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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