i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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