Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
