Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
