I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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