Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
