Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
