barbara walters just said penis...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
