fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
