Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
