Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Someone shattered a urinal.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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