It's Friday. Sex?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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