am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
