when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
