I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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