Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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