i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
